You begin the bridal shower planning by selecting your brides maids. They are typically the ones that throw the party. If they don't then the mothersteps in to plan the party. Tell “them” if they are planning a surprise that you still want a say. If there are people that you don't want to come, say so. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting drama at this event. Register. Its more than fine to let people know what you need and want. That also helps with returns. Let “them