Children at Weddings—A Delicate Subject
Advice from Prosperity Mansion & Farm an outdoor, Maryland wedding venue located in Frederick County Maryland and near Westminster Maryland.
When planning the guest list for you wedding, you need to decide if you will be having children at the wedding reception. It’s not an easy decision and has the potential to ruffle some feathers, so we’ve come up with a list of things you should consider and how to tell your guests about children at your wedding venue.
Weddings are typically an all-day event, and it can be challenging to keep kids entertained and content all day long. Most wedding venues, like Prosperity Mansion & Farm, aren’t able to accommodate things like bouncy castles and playsets to entertain children during the day. If you aren’t able to provide a way for children to be entertained during your wedding, it might not be a good idea to bring them.
Children can also be difficult to watch at a wedding. If you don’t have a dedicated person to watch over children, you will have to rely on their parents to keep an eye on them. This could take away from the parents’ evening, meaning they won’t enjoy themselves as much.
How far away is your wedding? Some kids don’t enjoy car rides or travelling long distances, so if their day starts off with a lot of travel, they could arrive cranky and it might take them a while to cheer up.
Children on a crowded dance floor have the potential of getting hurt, especially if your guests have been drinking and they don’t see the kids. The last thing you want is for someone to get injured at your wedding, so this is also something to keep in mind.
Some people decide to only allow children if they’re in the bridal party as flower girls and ring bearers, and these are often small children. They make for adorable pictures, videos, and memories, but it can be hard to keep them content and still during the ceremony. If you are thinking of having children in your wedding party, it’s wise to be prepared for this.
What about inviting teenagers? Teens should be better behaved during the ceremony, but some teens may find it harder to enjoy the reception than adults will because of the alcohol. Of course, alcohol isn’t the only thing you need to enjoy the reception, and there are plenty of teenagers who will have a blast at your reception.
On top of behavior and entertainment, it might not be in the interest of your budget to have children at your wedding. Certain vendors such as caterers charge by the head count of your guests, so having more people at your event might make you spend more money than you would have initially thought. If you’re planning your wedding on a tighter budget, it might be a good idea to let the kids stay home.
Kids also tend to be picky eaters, so it might be harder for you to find a caterer with kid-friendly options. Limiting your catering options might be easier to help you make a decision, but the process of finding these kid-friendly caterers might be even more stressful than it would be if you didn’t need to limit your choices.
As you can see, there are a lot of things you need to consider when you decide whether or not you invite children to your wedding, and it is something you need to be careful about. So, why are kids at wedding a delicate subject?
As we have highlighted, often times kids at weddings are a lot to handle and it might make your night easier if you just have adults present. However, even though it is your wedding and you have the final say in what happens, some people might take offense to the idea that you are not inviting their kids. Being excluded from a guest list has the tendency to hurt feelings, but at the end of the day, you’re the ones getting married. If you decide not to invite children, your guests need to respect that.
How do you tell your guests what you’ve decided about children at your wedding? If you are not allowing children, you should include this on your invitations. If you are allowing teenagers but not young children, your invitations should include a phrase similar to “no guests under the age of 13” or whatever age limit you decide on.
If you are allowing kids, make it explicitly clear that they’re invited by listing their name on the invitation. This lets them and their parents know it’s okay for them to be in attendance. If you're not allowing them, be sure to include “with zero additional guests” on the invitation to clearly say only the people listed are invited.
If your guests are upset about their children not being invited, let them know that the decision to not invite children is nothing personal against them or their kids. You made this decision based on what works best for your wedding plans and budget, and it was not an easy one to make. If you want to help these kids feel included in the festivities, you can of course invite them to the engagement party and bridal shower so they can help you celebrate on those days.
The most important thing to remember is that, once you make a decision, you need to stick with it. If family members or friends try to ask if you can make an exception, you need to politely put your foot down. This was a difficult decision you had to make, and it’s unfair to you and other guests who are leaving their children at home if you allow exceptions after your decision has been made.
Kids or not, your wedding should be the best day of your life. At Prosperity Mansion & Farm, we are here to help you have the wedding of your dreams.
Prosperity Mansion & Farm proudly serves:
Carroll County Maryland
Montgomery County Maryland
Anne Arundel County Maryland
Loudoun County Virginia and more
Contact us at: 443-350-8100