Selecting Your Maid of Honor & Bridal Party
Advice from Prosperity Mansion & Farm an outdoor, Maryland wedding venue located in Frederick County Maryland and near Westminster.
The bride needs to surround herself with loving supportive people. Those that you allow into the inner sanctum can have a great impact on the planning and the actual wedding day. I have seen some “bridesmaids” and “Maids of Honor” that were jealous and negative. They were not here to support the bride or help with the preparations and wedding day. Avoid those individuals at all costs. This is YOUR big day and don't allow anyone to spoil it. People sometimes have their own agenda's. So how do you avoid these individuals?
The member of the bridal party with the most responsibility is the maid (or matron) of honor. This is the bride’s right-hand girl for all things wedding and will do more on top of the traditional bridesmaid responsibilities. As the head of the bridal party, she plans the bridal shower and bachelorette party, and she mediates any potential conflict that arises.
Sometimes the Mother of the Bride is the head honcho. Therefore the Maid of Honor is more of a bestie and the Mom is making all of the decisions. So discuss that with your mother etc and make sure you know who you can depend on.
The Maid of Honor also helps give feedback for important decisions the bride makes regarding the wedding. At Prosperity Mansion, we have seen maids of honor schedule tours for our venue, and they often come to tour the venue to give their input to the bride. Many brides also go to their Maid of Honor for input on other vendors they will use for their wedding, and many Maids of Honor are there to help the bride select her dress. The Maid of Honor is there to give honest feedback about dresses, but she should also respect the brides' wishes and opinions. Wedding dress shopping is one of the most enjoyable parts of wedding planning, and the Maid of Honor is right by the bride's side for that.
The Maid of Honor is also there to help organize and keep track of many aspects leading up to the wedding. If the couple needs any second opinions on décor or flowers, she is often the first person they go to. She helps record gifts the bride receives to make writing thank-you cards easier, and she helps keep a schedule of all meetings she, the bride and the bridal party may have.
As the bride plans her wedding, the Maid of Honor should be available to her as a shoulder to cry on or a person to vent to. There are so many moving parts to a wedding that brides can easily get overwhelmed, so having a support person to talk to through the process makes planning far less stressful.
On the day of the wedding, the Maid of Honor should help the bride however she can. To help keep stress away from the bride, the Maid of Honor is the one working to keep things on track for the bridal party in the cottage, and she makes sure the bride remembers to eat and drink some water before the ceremony begins. She is also there to support the bride emotionally as she gets ready for the best day of her life.
During the ceremony, the Maid of Honor is standing right by the bride’s side. Along with supporting the bride as she marries the love of her life, the Maid of Honor holds the bridal bouquet through the ceremony and the groom’s ring until vows and rings are exchanged. On top of being prepared for her parts of the ceremony, she may need to whisper words of affirmation and encouragement to an emotional bride.
Once the reception begins, there are still things for the Maid of Honor to do. She gives a speech during the toasts before dinner begins and helps get the party started on the dance floor. Additionally, should the bride need any help going to the restroom with her dress, the Maid of Honor should be the first one to help her out.
As you can see, the Maid of Honor has plenty to do for the wedding. But what about the rest of the bridesmaids?
Bridesmaids are responsible for purchasing their own wedding day attire—dress, shoes, hair and makeup. The bride will provide guidelines for color, style, etc. (some will even select the exact dress and shoes you need), but at the end of the day, the bridesmaids are the ones responsible for buying them. If your bride decides to have a group shopping day for bridesmaids’ dresses, you should try your best to be there so she has an idea of what the dresses will look like on her bridal party.
Bridesmaids should also attend all bridal party meetings and the major wedding events, including the engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and the rehearsal and dinner. Attending all of these are the best way to show the bride that her bridesmaids are there for her and her big day.
If you’re in a wedding with DIY decorations or favors, many brides have their bridesmaids get together to help put them all together so it doesn’t fall completely on the bride to finish. They can even make a fun night out of it, with snacks and a movie!
On the day of the wedding, bridesmaids are there to keep the bride happy and not worrying about anything. That can mean arriving early to help set up decorations, keeping the bride company in the bridal cottage, and helping the Maid of Honor however she needs. Keeping the peace is the best thing a bridesmaid can do on the day of the wedding.
Bridesmaids should work to keep the energy up during the reception. If the dance floor seems bare, the bridal party should be right out there to help encourage guests to dance. In addition, the Maid of Honor may need some help with the bride’s dress in the restroom, so bridesmaids should be available to help her.
Once the wedding is over, the bride and groom should be off and having a blast to celebrate their love. The bridal party needs to ensure that clean-up of the reception area, bridal cottage, and any other areas of a venue that have been used is complete and the venue is ready for the next wedding. Brides who have to clean up after their own wedding by themselves are not happy that they have to do so. Basically, its simply wrong for the bridal party to leave and allow the bride to clean up, pack her car or do anything other than be queen for the day !
Because choosing who will be by your side on your wedding day is such an important decision, it can seem overwhelming when you don't know where to start. Here are some of our tips to help you select your Maid of Honor and bridesmaids:
Have a list of people you know will be there to help but won't be in the bridal party (Mom, aunts, family friends, etc.).
Figure out how involved these people will be. This should consider both your personal comfort and how willing they are to help.
Write up what you need from your Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids. Be honest about your expectations.
As you're considering your bridal party, leave out any people you're not completely positive about. It's better to have a smaller bridal party and a happy experience than to be stressed about a big group.
Before you officially ask people to be a part of your bridal party, ask someone that you trust if your expectations are reasonable.
Give each member of your bridal party your expectations and let them read it over before they make their decisions. This is especially important with the Maid of Honor because she is the most involved. Do not be offended if someone can't meet your expectations and is honest with you about that.
Be grateful for every single person you talk with as you select your bridal party. The last thing any bride wants to be is a bridezilla.
A person’s wedding is one of the most important days of their lives, and every bride deserves to surround herself with a supportive and helpful bridal party. As long as you're honest with yourself and your friends about your expectations, you will be able to select your Maid of Honor and bridesmaids with confidence. Likewise, they can accept knowing what responsibilities they are taking on. Any good relationship needs to be clear to avoid issues and hard feelings.
Prosperity Mansion & Farm proudly serves:
Carroll County Maryland
Montgomery County Maryland
Anne Arundel County Maryland
Glen Burnie Maryland
Severna Park Maryland
Loudoun County Virginia and more
Contact us at: 443-350-8100