“How to Pick Bridesmaids” -Prosperity Mansion & Farm- located in Frederick County Maryland and bordering Carroll County: Advice from a Historical, outdoor / garden wedding venue in Maryland
You’re getting married and who else would you rather spend your wedding day with than… your bridesmaids! (And your fiancé, but we knew that already). Your bridesmaids are going to be your support system as you and your fiancé meet at the end of the aisle. But the truth is, you have to make a decision that isn’t exactly the easiest to make. You shouldn’t worry though, because we’ve got the tips and tricks to help you make the right choices.
The first thing you should do is make a list of (quite literally) anyone you would remotely consider to ask to be your bridesmaid. Once you have thought of everyone you would possibly want to ask, start crossing names off the list. The number of guests you have does affect your choices of how many bridesmaids you’ll choose, so be sure to find a good ratio of bridesmaids to guests. For a 50-60 person wedding, you should ideally have no more than four bridesmaids. If you have a wedding of 150, you could have twelve bridesmaids.
You also need to consider where you’re having the wedding. If you’re at a venue, you’ll have a set number of people allowed to get ready with you. For example, at our outdoor/garden venue there is a limit to how many can get ready in the bridal cottage. If you’re from a different country and have different customs, ensure that you have clearly communicated these customs to get the okay. While the decision is up to you, just remember that a good balance is necessary.
Before you ask anyone, think about it. Once you ask someone to be in your wedding party, it’s in poor taste to rescind the invite. Although you probably immediately want to grab all of your friends and get them hyped up to all be in your wedding party, that’s not the best way to go about it. Give yourself a month to go over all of the options. You want to be sure that the bridesmaids that you choose will be friends with you for good. If you are on the fence about one bridesmaid, consider the potential bridesmaid’s vibe with the rest of your wedding party. If they don’t mesh together very well, then you should probably choose someone else.
Secondly, it’s definitely a good idea to make sure that no one in your potential wedding party has any financial issues that would prohibit them from being able to participate in your wedding party. People do have to put their finances ahead of your wedding, no matter how much they love you.
For example, there was a couple that did not make too much money who had just graduated from college and had gotten engaged. All of their friends were either also recent graduates or still in college themselves. The bride wanted her girlfriends to fly out to Las Vegas for her bachelorette party for a week, pay for their rooms and hers in the Vegas hotel, throw her a bridal shower, buy expensive dresses, have their hair and make-up done professionally, buy her a wedding gift, and then fly out to Aspen, Colorado for the wedding.
The bride lost all of her friends because she got angry that they wouldn’t agree to do any of that because none of them were financially capable of committing to that humongous of a monetary budget for a wedding that wasn’t even theirs. They were college students. The majority of college students do not have a lot of money, and no one should assume that people should put down large amounts of money for a wedding that they are in no way able to pay for.
If you don’t know how much people can afford to pay to be in your wedding, set up some honest but reasonable expectations. Keep in mind that brides usually purchase at least something for their bridesmaids, whether it’s hair and make-up, the dresses, or something else, such as a personal gift. State your hopes and ideas to them from the very beginning when you initially ask them to be your bridesmaid, so that there is no room for misinterpretation.
When choosing bridesmaids, also think about your family and your in-laws. Friends can come and go, but siblings pretty much stay forever. If you want to be traditional and keep women on the bride’s side and men on the groom’s side, that’s perfectly fine, but remember, you can break the rules if you so choose. Have a ‘Man of Honor’ instead of Maid of Honor (the groom can switch it up too!). If you want someone in your wedding party, their gender should not have to be the sole deciding factor of whether or not they are standing beside you on your wedding day.
As you narrow your search for bridesmaids, you should begin to look for certain personality traits. There are many wedding horror stories about the bride or groom being a nightmare to be around, but there are also many times where the bride couldn’t count on her bridesmaids in her times of need. If the person you’re considering asking to be a bridesmaid is also the friend that is always late, constantly cancels plans you two have made, or always says they’ll do something that they never follow through with, you probably shouldn’t choose them to be one of your bridesmaids.
At the end of your decision making, think about your relationships. Think about the people you want next to you, experiencing your wedding. The people you love, cherish, and are close with will probably be the ones you are thinking of. If you believe that these people will do their best to help you make the most out of your special day, then they are probably the right choice to be your bridesmaids. Trust your gut.
Prosperity Mansion & Farm proudly services:
Carroll County, Maryland
Montgomery County, Maryland
Anne Arundel County, Maryland
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