RSVP's
Prosperity Mansion - Serving Frederick, Westminster and the state of Maryland
I must tell you that I am SHOCKED at the lack of etiquette and simple common decency that some people have especially when it comes to weddings and receptions. I am so angry and I am sure that you will be able to tell in this article. A wedding couple and their family spends a tremendous amount of money AND time planning and hosting a wedding ceremony and reception. This is one of the most special days in their lives. For many brides they have imagined this day since they were little girls.
I can tell you as a venue owner that the couple and family put their hearts and souls into this event. They want the guests to have an amazing experience. And they certainly want to look back on this day as having a childhood dream fulfilled.
So they spend months driving to venues and touring. They now have the wedding date. The family sits and compiles a guest list and guess what ?? You made it and will be getting an invitation ! Now they take the number of guest to the printer and carefully and longingly purchase the most enchanting wedding invitations. They pay for that and order it. Save the date invitations are mailed. Then they buy stamps and sit down and start addressing. YOU get an RSVP date ! So your ONLY responsibility in the entire process is to RSVP and show up on time for the event. REALLY, is that too much to ask?
Apparently it is for some people. At some weddings its a lot of people that cannot take the time to RSVP. For gosh sake the wedding couple even sends you a self addressed stamped envelope so all you need to do is check the appropriate box and lick the envelope !!!!!
This past Saturday I hosted a wedding. The couple spent more money than any other wedding that I ever had here. They worked non-stop for months with the most minute details to make every single aspect perfect. They truly wanted this to be a magic wedding ceremony and reception and it was EXCEPT..............
They had 150 people RSVP. So we set up tables and chairs at the ceremony site as well as the setting up 150 chairs and the appropriate tables for the reception. The caterer was also told that 150 people were going to attend and prepared food for that number. Our contract clearly stated that we maxed out guests at 200. Well I know that you can guess where I am heading. About 250 guest showed up. Yes folks 100 people that never RSVP ed actually came here without telling anyone at all. We were panicked over the tables and chairs. The poor caterer was in a state of chaos wondering how she was going to feed 100 extra people. So trying to be a great host we kept bringing in more and more chairs and placing them at tables that were designed for a maximum capacity of 8 per table. Now many tables had 12 and 13. But it wasn't our business to turn away their guests so we did the best that we could and made lemonade out of lemons.
But I was so shocked that people felt that it was OK to just show up and didn't care what the consequences of their lack of actions were. Then the very next day I received an email from another venue that is a friend. They stated that the bride had mailed 200 invitations and had only gotten RSVP's for 20 people. She was in tears.
MY humble suggestion to ALL couples and families is to get an email address for anyone that you are inviting. If you haven't gotten the RSVP a week before its due send a mass email to people to remind them that the RSVP is due in 5 days so please take a moment and send it. I would then send one more a week after it was due. Tell them that you still have not gotten an answer and that its crucial to your planning. In 3 days if you haven't received it you will take them off the list and will be sad that they will not be attending ! Yes, yes , yes that creates yet more work for you. But when you have people that cannot check a box and you need a head count what can you do ?
