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MANSION &         FARM  

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A Frederick Maryland Wedding Venue
 Outdoor/ Garden Weddings
Affordable Weddings

  • Writer's pictureDebbie Donohue

Does and Don’ts for Wedding Guests


Advice from Prosperity Mansion & Farm, an outdoor / garden wedding venue located in Frederick County MD

Save the date- Most couples send out a save the date notification far in advance so that you can mark your calendar. This advance notice lets you notify your boss in advance for time off, get a sitter, get a hotel room and anything else that you would need to do to attend the wedding couple’s special day.

When you are lucky enough to receive an invitation take a minute and record the date. If you see that you have a prior commitment let them know right away. There are times that a couple has an A list and B list. If you know that you cannot attend the that gives the couple an opportunity to invite someone in your place.


RSVP- Forgive me but to NOT RSVP and to not RSVP by the due date, is just rude! This couple has been planning one of the most important days of their lives and invited you to share in the celebration. They have chosen a wedding venue that will allow their desired number of guests, given a deposit to a caterer, and catering is far from cheap, hired the appropriate number of servers and bartenders based upon the head count, bought center pieces for the correct number of tables, table cloths, dishes, ordered enough so that you may drink all evening, favors and the list goes on. All they ask of you is to RSVP no later than the deadline but sooner if you know you cannot attend. All caterers have a deadline where the guestlist can be adjusted and not be charged. An RSVP deadline allows couples to be able to make cancellations and save on their budget. They can notify the wedding venue of how many chairs to set up for the ceremony and tables and chairs for the reception. Pictures look quite sad when there are a lot of empty chairs at the ceremony and tables and chairs at the reception.


Respect their budget- The wedding that you will attend has likely cost the wedding couple a lot of money not to mention time. They will have sacrificed to make this the best day that they could with their budget. It would be fitting to tell the couple what a wonderful wedding it was and how much you truly enjoyed their day. Do not make snide comments even if you consider it in jest. Nothing negative should ever enter into the conversation.


Give a gift- Yes, you do need to make sure that you send a gift IN ADVANCE or bring a cash gift the day of the wedding. Never show up empty handed and think that you will send a gift later when you get around to it. Think how terrible it will be when the couple is sitting down and going through all of the gifts and cards and there is absolutely nothing from you. Wow, what a letdown.

Most couples register for gift’s so that they can get what they want or need. So, its super easy to go online or to the store and get exactly what they would be delighted to receive. You can never go wrong with cash! Never regift. Find some other way to get rid of those awful gifts that you were stuck with. Cash, cash, cash……They might be strapped right after the wedding and cash would be a breath of relief. For my wedding the cash gifts were a welcomed asset on our honeymoon.



Do not come if you are ill- The last thing the couple needs, is to get sick immediately following their big day. Also consider the other guests. Afterall, who wants to be sitting at the same table with someone that is ill. It is certainly respectful to send a note, asap telling the couple that you are so sorry but due to an illness you cannot attend. However, you are sending their gift with someone else, dropping if off when you have recovered, or mailing it right way. Other sentiments such as have a happy life etc. are nice to hear.


Do NOT bring guests that were not invited- The wedding invitation will say John Smith plus 1 or Mr. & Mrs. John Smith etc. If it doesn’t mention your children know that means only the people on the invitation. Retrain from calling the couple or their family members to complain about the kids or a plus one, not being welcomed to the wedding. It’s not your day, it’s the couple’s choice and their day. If that make you unhappy decline to come, no explanations are needed.


Show up in a timely fashion- As the owner of a wedding venue, there are always some stragglers that roll or fly in after the wedding ceremony has started. Especially when it’s an outdoor wedding venue that can be very disruptive. All eyes should be on the couple, not looking to see who is showing up late.


Do not try and sit down when the ceremony has already started- Stay in your car or way out of the way. Simply wait till the ceremony has ended.


Be respectful when dressing for a couples “Big Day”- Never try and outshine the wedding couple. It’s their day to be the center of attention. Allow them to shine. So, no super low-cut cloths or very short, nothing to hide slits.  Never wear white!


Be respectful to everyone including the vendors- Bad behavior is terrible but even more on someone’s wedding day. This is a once in a lifetime event. Put your feeling aside for a few hours.


No fighting- It goes without saying that there is never any reason why any sort of physical altercation is warranted. If you cannot control yourself, simply go home. Verbal altercations can and are just as bad, hold your tongue


Do not get drunk- This is not a frat party. How fun is it to see drunk guests, staggering around.


Make sure that all of the other guests have eaten before you go for seconds- They call it seconds because you have already been served once. Most times there is plenty of food if you are still hungry, to get a second helping.


Leave when the allotted time is over – A couple rents a wedding venue for a specific number of hours. There is a start time and end time in all contracts. There is also a clause that addresses overtime. - Yep, wedding venues charge by the hour. So, there is a fee if the place had not been vacated at the give time of the end of the rental. That fee can range from $300 to $1,000 per hour, so continue the party elsewhere.

Prosperity Mansion & Farm offers various levels of weddings to suit all budgets:

1) Full day, DREAM weddings- From 20- 200 guests and 8-10-12 hours in duration

2) Small weddings / Micro weddings- Up to 50 guests and 5 hours.

3) Courthouse weddings / Elopements/ Intimate weddings- From 2-30 guests and 1-2 hours.

4) Vow Renewals From 2-200 guest and from 1-12 hours.

Contact Us: Website:

Call: 443-350-8100

As they say in the French Quarter in New Orleans “laissez les bon temps rouler”. Translated, let the good times roll!.............At Prosperity Mansion & Farm




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